“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” - Mark Twain and other Witty Quotes

I love a good quote. I hope you enjoy this eclectic collection.

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”
- Tom Clancy (1947-), paraphrasing Mark Twain

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.”
- Ingrid Bergman

“Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.”
- Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower, Chessmaster

“A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.” - Frank Lloyd Wright

“Wit is educated insolence.” - Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

“Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.” - Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

“Destiny is not a matter of change, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” - William Jennings Bryan

“If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“Never forget that it is the spirit with which you endow your work that makes it useful or futile.”
- Adelaide Hasse

“All for one; one for all.”
- Alexander Dumas (1824-1895)

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

“The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.”
- Albert Einstein

“Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.”
- Mark Twain

“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”
- Edward Abbey (1927-1989)

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
- Napoleon Bonaparte

“After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.”
- Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

“When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package.”
- John Ruskin

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–”
- General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words

“I don’t feel good.”
- Luther Burbank (1849-1926), last words

“Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.”
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), when informed that his wife was dying

“99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.”
- Unknown

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.”
- Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

“The greatest strength is gentleness.”
- Iroquois Proverb

“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.”
- Proverb

“If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument.”
- Proverb

“Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”
- Chinese Proverb

“I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
- Thomas Edison (1874-1931)

“All science is either physics or stamp collecting.”
- Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937)

“The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don’t.”
- Ernest Rutherford

“A witty saying proves nothing.”
- Voltaire (1694-1778)  *To this I would argue ‘that may be, Voltaire, but it makes life a darn site more entertaining.’

“I would like to be able to admire a man’s opinions as I would his dog – without being expected to take it home with me.”- Frank A. Clark

“As I get older I notice the years less and the seasons more.”
- John Hubbard

***These quotes are from an excellent site: http://www.tk421.net/quotes/

***All royalty free images