These funny Mom texts (below) gave me a hearty chuckle. I totally get the difficulty with texting (autocorrect) and haven't even attempted voice text. Navigating the world of acronyms and emoticons is perilous. Uncharted territory. My advice: 'when in doubt, don't'. But you can't always help it. Like yesterday, I'm in the garden taking flower pics with my nifty iPhone (from my last birthday) when I spot weeds taunting me. I tuck the phone under my arm and bend down. After a few minutes an alarm blares. I'm so startled I nearly fall into the beans I haven't picked. Yet. I will.
What the heck? It's coming from my phone and there's a red emergency SOS threatening to send. Or did it already go out? Insert panicked bad word here.
I can't turn the phone off fast enough. Are cop cars gonna roll into my yard demanding the nature of my emergency? I didn't even know the phone had an alarm, let alone how to engage it. I do now.
What a monster this deceptively innocent device can be.
Oh, and then there's the whole Mom Memory thing. I nearly forgot to mention it.
Mom: Hi Bridget I space space space space how space are space you space doing period capitol eye love this new phone exclamation point
Bridget: I see you're using voice text. You don't have to say space Mom it does it for you.
Mom: I cucumber lettuce pea Ritalin
Bridget: What? Mom stop just type.
****
Mom: Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can track it down?
Andy: I don't even have time to be quippy, Mom. It's in your hand.
Mom: What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things?
Andy: WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH?
Mom: Never mind. I found it. Thanks!
****
Daughter: Mom where are you???
Mom: Leaving Walmart. Halfway home. Why sweetie?
Daughter: You brought me to Walmart with you...
Mom: Oh DARN! Be there in a bit!
Madre: I left my friggin charger in Dayton.
Mom: Do you know how worried I've been?
Madre: Mom I'm sorry. I couldn't get a hold of you.
Mom: I almost broke the treaty to be sure you were OK.
Madre: What treaty? MOM ARE YOU QUOTING TWILIGHT AT ME?
Mom: Yes.
****
Mom: Your great Aunt just passed away. LOL
David: Why is that funny?
Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean?
David: Mom lol means laughing out loud!
Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone. I thought it meant lots of love! I have to call everyone back. Oh God.
****
Mom: Please stop changing the google logo so much. I like the original one.
Son: Mom I don't change the logo. Google changes it.
Mom: You don't run the google?
Son: If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 ford.
Son to his Mum:
Finally, you've entered the digital age and got a smartphone!
How is it?
Mum?
Helloooooo???
Why aren't you answering?
Mum: Howdoyoudoaspace?
****
Son: Got an A in chemistry!
Mom: WTF, well done!!
Son: What do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well that's fantastic!
****
Mom: Good morning beautiful. :) xoxo Your imaginary boyfriend.
Daughter: Thanks Mom
Mom: Hi Honey how was your day? 8=======D
Daughter: WTF Mom! Why'd you type a penis emoticon???
Mom: I don't know what you mean. 8=======D is an alien smiley face.
Daughter: No it's not! It's a penis. Who told you that?
Mom: Well I saw it in some of your brother's texts to his girlfriend and when I asked he said it was an alien. Wait so 8=======D~ { (0) } isn't a space alien getting on a ship?
Daughter: No Mom it isn't.
****
Mom: I'm learning how to hashtag!
Son: That's great, Mom.
Mom: Hashtag conversation with son
****
There are a lot of these hilarious Mom texts online. I laughed out loud. LOL.
I don't write comedy but I do have a keen sense of humor which comes out in my books. For more on me please follow my Amazon Author Page:
https://www.amazon.com/Beth-Trissel/e/B002BLLAJ6
***Goats like to sit on rather than in their house.
***Goats like to sit on rather than in their house.
